Rudali's haunting song "Dil hoom hoom kare..." also revived some very sad memories of a tragedy that happened about 15 years ago. Especially the words in the 'antara' of the song "Teri oonchi ataari, maine pankh liye katwaaye..." opened up memories of deep regret in my heart. Why? Read this true story and you'll know.
A 25-year-old Hindu girl (can't disclose the girl's or her parent's identity for obvious reasons) had fallen in love with a Christian boy and both of them wanted to tie the knot and live together for the rest of their lives. The parents of the girl were horrified at the prospect of their elder daughter marrying outside not just their so-called 'high' caste, but also outside Hindu religion. The boy's parents had no objection, but the girl's parents were dead against the marriage, which created daily strife and tension between the girl and her parents. Days passed and things had probably gotten worse for the girl. One day she called me up and told me she wanted to meet me along with the boy. When I met her and the boy at a hotel in Matunga, I could see that both of them were very much in love. The girl requested me to speak to her parents and try to convince them to give their consent to the marriage. The boy told me that he had even offered to covert to Hinduism to make her parents agree to the marriage, but apparently the parents were adamant and would have none of it. After hearing them, I trotted out the usual smug advice about remaining firm in their resolve and told the girl to elope with the boy (if necessary) and get married in a court of law. I thought I had done whatever was necessary on my part and left them to fend for themselves.
I do not know what transpired between the girl and her parents after the meeting, but a few weeks later on a Diwali day the next thing I heard was the shocking news that the girl was dead. Her parents trotted out some goddam lies as explanation for her death (to save their face, obviously), but I knew very well that the girl had committed suicide. I could not stop my tears on hearing of her death and cursed myself no end for being so indifferent and insensitive to the plight of the girl. The girl had looked up to me, confided in me, desperately hoping that I would help her out in her hour of crisis, but I failed to understand the gravity of her situation. The tragedy was waiting to happen and probably she was looking up to me as her last hope, but I had failed her miserably. And with no hope left, she had ended her life. I cannot stop mourning the premature end of a beautiful young girl.
I do not know whether I would have been able to avert the tragedy and save the girl, but my lifelong regret is that I did not even try. It was a Himalayan blunder I am regretting and would continue to carry the burden of my regret for the rest of my life. It was a miserable moral failure on my part and I shall never pardon myself for this failure.
The young girl had not just 'pankh liye katwaaye' (cut her wings), she had cut short her precious life for the sake of love, while I stood on the sidelines watching the tragedy like a dumb and numb bystander.
As for the girl's parents, I pity them for sacrificing their own flesh and blood at the altar of some imaginary 'family honour' and 'sanctity' of their religion. The parents are as much to be blamed for snuffing out the life of their young daughter as our society is to be blamed for erecting the imaginary 'oonchi ataaris' and 'deewareins' of castes, creeds, classes, colours, races and what not. It's such a horrible shame that even in this 21st century we are ready to sacrifice our near and dear ones to defend and protect these imaginary barriers that clog our minds.
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