It's been exactly two months since I left my job and took a sabbatical to write the book (whose title I am yet to finalize). I can see for myself the remarkable progress made on the book in terms of quantitative as well as qualitative output. Not only is the output more prolific, but it is also more focussed and well-organised and, more importantly, it is much better in quality. The statistics will tell the whole story: 7,000-plus words in 2 months since I quit my job, as against 9,000-odd words in 5 years or so (from 2005 when the idea was born to Nov. 2010 when I quit).
The reason is simple: I have all the time in the world to read whole lot of books, articles and other reference material (collected over a period of over 30 years) or browse the web and access the entire universe of knowledge made available by Google; then duly understand, assimilate and introspect over whatever I have read; and, then, finally pen down all that gets distilled and keeps popping up in my mind all the time. This goes on without any distractions, worries or tensions {Correction: Exceptions being four distractions in a day (from my better-half, of course!) for morning breakfast & coffee, lunch, evening coffee and dinner....I cannot thank her enough for these distractions - although mundane and routine her work is supposed to be - but the truth is: her distractions keep me going!}
How I wish I had begun working full time on the book when the idea was born in 2005...! (in which case the book would have been out by 2008).
Ah...well, as they say, if only wishes were horses......!!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Ocean Of Knowledge
The ocean of knowledge is so deep that the deeper one goes, the deeper it keeps going. It is a bottomless wonder and one can only watch in amazement at the wonders that keep unfolding on the way. As Sir Isaac Newton, the English physicist who propounded the law of gravitation, puts it humbly: "I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." Mankind will have to keep diving into the depths of the great ocean to unravel the secrets of nature. Intellectual giants from Plato to Locke, Copernicus to Galileo, Newton to Darwin, Einstein to Hawking, Marx to Freud, and many others, have already unravelled some of the greatest mysteries of nature or interpreted the human mind and existence. Yet the riddle about how the first pulse of life got ticking on earth still remains to be solved, the mystery about whether life exists on other planets somewhere in the universe still eludes us. These are just two of the most formidable mysteries before mankind today, and the need is to channelize all our energy and resources towards solving them. We shall definitely be able to meet these and many more challenges, provided we don't use our huge stockpiles of nuclear weapons against each other and, in the process, annihilate the entire human race and all forms of life on earth. That would be the most colossal tragedy ever.
(A short extract from the concluding chapter of my forthcoming book)
(A short extract from the concluding chapter of my forthcoming book)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A Miserable Moral Failure
Rudali's haunting song "Dil hoom hoom kare..." also revived some very sad memories of a tragedy that happened about 15 years ago. Especially the words in the 'antara' of the song "Teri oonchi ataari, maine pankh liye katwaaye..." opened up memories of deep regret in my heart. Why? Read this true story and you'll know.
A 25-year-old Hindu girl (can't disclose the girl's or her parent's identity for obvious reasons) had fallen in love with a Christian boy and both of them wanted to tie the knot and live together for the rest of their lives. The parents of the girl were horrified at the prospect of their elder daughter marrying outside not just their so-called 'high' caste, but also outside Hindu religion. The boy's parents had no objection, but the girl's parents were dead against the marriage, which created daily strife and tension between the girl and her parents. Days passed and things had probably gotten worse for the girl. One day she called me up and told me she wanted to meet me along with the boy. When I met her and the boy at a hotel in Matunga, I could see that both of them were very much in love. The girl requested me to speak to her parents and try to convince them to give their consent to the marriage. The boy told me that he had even offered to covert to Hinduism to make her parents agree to the marriage, but apparently the parents were adamant and would have none of it. After hearing them, I trotted out the usual smug advice about remaining firm in their resolve and told the girl to elope with the boy (if necessary) and get married in a court of law. I thought I had done whatever was necessary on my part and left them to fend for themselves.
I do not know what transpired between the girl and her parents after the meeting, but a few weeks later on a Diwali day the next thing I heard was the shocking news that the girl was dead. Her parents trotted out some goddam lies as explanation for her death (to save their face, obviously), but I knew very well that the girl had committed suicide. I could not stop my tears on hearing of her death and cursed myself no end for being so indifferent and insensitive to the plight of the girl. The girl had looked up to me, confided in me, desperately hoping that I would help her out in her hour of crisis, but I failed to understand the gravity of her situation. The tragedy was waiting to happen and probably she was looking up to me as her last hope, but I had failed her miserably. And with no hope left, she had ended her life. I cannot stop mourning the premature end of a beautiful young girl.
I do not know whether I would have been able to avert the tragedy and save the girl, but my lifelong regret is that I did not even try. It was a Himalayan blunder I am regretting and would continue to carry the burden of my regret for the rest of my life. It was a miserable moral failure on my part and I shall never pardon myself for this failure.
The young girl had not just 'pankh liye katwaaye' (cut her wings), she had cut short her precious life for the sake of love, while I stood on the sidelines watching the tragedy like a dumb and numb bystander.
As for the girl's parents, I pity them for sacrificing their own flesh and blood at the altar of some imaginary 'family honour' and 'sanctity' of their religion. The parents are as much to be blamed for snuffing out the life of their young daughter as our society is to be blamed for erecting the imaginary 'oonchi ataaris' and 'deewareins' of castes, creeds, classes, colours, races and what not. It's such a horrible shame that even in this 21st century we are ready to sacrifice our near and dear ones to defend and protect these imaginary barriers that clog our minds.
A 25-year-old Hindu girl (can't disclose the girl's or her parent's identity for obvious reasons) had fallen in love with a Christian boy and both of them wanted to tie the knot and live together for the rest of their lives. The parents of the girl were horrified at the prospect of their elder daughter marrying outside not just their so-called 'high' caste, but also outside Hindu religion. The boy's parents had no objection, but the girl's parents were dead against the marriage, which created daily strife and tension between the girl and her parents. Days passed and things had probably gotten worse for the girl. One day she called me up and told me she wanted to meet me along with the boy. When I met her and the boy at a hotel in Matunga, I could see that both of them were very much in love. The girl requested me to speak to her parents and try to convince them to give their consent to the marriage. The boy told me that he had even offered to covert to Hinduism to make her parents agree to the marriage, but apparently the parents were adamant and would have none of it. After hearing them, I trotted out the usual smug advice about remaining firm in their resolve and told the girl to elope with the boy (if necessary) and get married in a court of law. I thought I had done whatever was necessary on my part and left them to fend for themselves.
I do not know what transpired between the girl and her parents after the meeting, but a few weeks later on a Diwali day the next thing I heard was the shocking news that the girl was dead. Her parents trotted out some goddam lies as explanation for her death (to save their face, obviously), but I knew very well that the girl had committed suicide. I could not stop my tears on hearing of her death and cursed myself no end for being so indifferent and insensitive to the plight of the girl. The girl had looked up to me, confided in me, desperately hoping that I would help her out in her hour of crisis, but I failed to understand the gravity of her situation. The tragedy was waiting to happen and probably she was looking up to me as her last hope, but I had failed her miserably. And with no hope left, she had ended her life. I cannot stop mourning the premature end of a beautiful young girl.
I do not know whether I would have been able to avert the tragedy and save the girl, but my lifelong regret is that I did not even try. It was a Himalayan blunder I am regretting and would continue to carry the burden of my regret for the rest of my life. It was a miserable moral failure on my part and I shall never pardon myself for this failure.
The young girl had not just 'pankh liye katwaaye' (cut her wings), she had cut short her precious life for the sake of love, while I stood on the sidelines watching the tragedy like a dumb and numb bystander.
As for the girl's parents, I pity them for sacrificing their own flesh and blood at the altar of some imaginary 'family honour' and 'sanctity' of their religion. The parents are as much to be blamed for snuffing out the life of their young daughter as our society is to be blamed for erecting the imaginary 'oonchi ataaris' and 'deewareins' of castes, creeds, classes, colours, races and what not. It's such a horrible shame that even in this 21st century we are ready to sacrifice our near and dear ones to defend and protect these imaginary barriers that clog our minds.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Of Legends And Faded Talents
Few days back I was fully immersed listening to the haunting melody of Rudali's "Dil hoom hoom kare, ghabaraaye..." (one of my all-time favourites) rendered by the legendary Lata Mangeshkar. I marvelled at the heavenly voice of the melody queen and wondered how she could achieve the height of perfection in her vocation. Was it the 'God's gift', was it her 'naseeb' or was it her hard work?
What is it that separates the legends from the others? What creates living legends like Lata Mangeshkar, Sachin Tendulkar, Bhimsen Joshi, Amitabh Bachchan, M S Subbulakshmi and the chosen few who attain perfection and scale the dizzying heights of glory?
I think the answer to this question partly lies in the reply given by Vinod Kambli explaining the difference between him and Sachin Tendulkar many years ago, when he said "I took the stairs, while Sachin went up by the escalator!" But this does not explain why, despite starting together, Sachin could take the escalator and reach the top of the 100-storey tower (so to say) where no one else has reached till date, while Vinod panted after barely climbing two floors!
One reason, of course, is the talent. A person must have it in good measure to begin with. Both Sachin and Vinod obviously had loads of cricketing talent. In fact, Vinod was said to be more talented than Sachin. If this was true, why did he fade out so early in his cricketing career, while Sachin left behind trail-blazing records which may probably never be surpassed by any batsman in future? Surely both had to struggle initially for a place in the national team, but once in, Sachin converted the opportunity into gold, while Vinod squandered it recklessly. The same goes for Lata Mangeshkar, Bhimsen Joshi and other legends who had to wage their own battles to make it big in life.
The secret behind the extraordinary achievements of these legends lies in their dedication and commitment to their art and craft and their willingness to put in years of hard work to attain perfection. It's their years of 'sadhana' which separates these legends from ordinary talent. People hail their achievements and admire their success, but behind the success of every legend lies years of 'sadhana' which people are unable to see and appreciate.
What is it that separates the legends from the others? What creates living legends like Lata Mangeshkar, Sachin Tendulkar, Bhimsen Joshi, Amitabh Bachchan, M S Subbulakshmi and the chosen few who attain perfection and scale the dizzying heights of glory?
I think the answer to this question partly lies in the reply given by Vinod Kambli explaining the difference between him and Sachin Tendulkar many years ago, when he said "I took the stairs, while Sachin went up by the escalator!" But this does not explain why, despite starting together, Sachin could take the escalator and reach the top of the 100-storey tower (so to say) where no one else has reached till date, while Vinod panted after barely climbing two floors!
One reason, of course, is the talent. A person must have it in good measure to begin with. Both Sachin and Vinod obviously had loads of cricketing talent. In fact, Vinod was said to be more talented than Sachin. If this was true, why did he fade out so early in his cricketing career, while Sachin left behind trail-blazing records which may probably never be surpassed by any batsman in future? Surely both had to struggle initially for a place in the national team, but once in, Sachin converted the opportunity into gold, while Vinod squandered it recklessly. The same goes for Lata Mangeshkar, Bhimsen Joshi and other legends who had to wage their own battles to make it big in life.
The secret behind the extraordinary achievements of these legends lies in their dedication and commitment to their art and craft and their willingness to put in years of hard work to attain perfection. It's their years of 'sadhana' which separates these legends from ordinary talent. People hail their achievements and admire their success, but behind the success of every legend lies years of 'sadhana' which people are unable to see and appreciate.
What Keeps Us Going?
The other day I was wandering aimlessly on a crowded road. Hundreds of faces passed by, and since I knew none of them, these faces were nameless too for me. After watching the crowd for some time I started wondering what kept those people in the crowd (including myself) and millions others like them going. Is it the work at the office or the factory? Or the chores at home? Is it the money in the bank accounts? Is it the property and other belongings? Or is it the near and dear ones?
After some introspection, I realised that work at the home, office or factory, bank balance, property, etc. are just the means to realize one's dreams. So, it's the dreams that keep us going. We keep doing things that we do every day, day after day, with the fond hope that we will realize our dreams some day.
So, a clerk in the office or a foreman on the shop floor dreams of becoming a manager, a young manager nurtures the ambition of becoming the CEO of the company, a political greenhorn aspires to be a corporator, an MLA wants to be the chief minister, an MP dreams of becoming a Prime Minister, a rap dancer wants to be next Prabhudeva, a painter dreams of becoming the next MF Husain or Anjolie Ila Menon, a 'gully' cricketer sees himself as the next Sachin Tendulkar, a budding singer wants to be tomorrow's Lata Mangeshkar or Mohammed Rafi, a junior artiste in the film industry dreams of making it big like Amitabh or Rajnikanth.
A slum-dweller may aspire to move into a flat, while a flat owner may want to buy that dream weekend home. A young girl may want to marry the boy of her dreams, or a newly-wed couple may dream of becoming proud parents of a cute little angel couple of years later. Young boys and girls may dream of making it into the IIMs, Harvard or Cambridge and a fresh MBA grad may expect to land a dream job. Millions of people, millions of dreams - because there is no limit to goals and no limit to dreaming. Some realize their dreams, some don't. Those whose dreams are fulfilled relish their success in life. But those who do not realize their dreams draw solace from the fact that they did give it a try, and their efforts and their struggle kept them going and made the journey worthwhile.
After some introspection, I realised that work at the home, office or factory, bank balance, property, etc. are just the means to realize one's dreams. So, it's the dreams that keep us going. We keep doing things that we do every day, day after day, with the fond hope that we will realize our dreams some day.
So, a clerk in the office or a foreman on the shop floor dreams of becoming a manager, a young manager nurtures the ambition of becoming the CEO of the company, a political greenhorn aspires to be a corporator, an MLA wants to be the chief minister, an MP dreams of becoming a Prime Minister, a rap dancer wants to be next Prabhudeva, a painter dreams of becoming the next MF Husain or Anjolie Ila Menon, a 'gully' cricketer sees himself as the next Sachin Tendulkar, a budding singer wants to be tomorrow's Lata Mangeshkar or Mohammed Rafi, a junior artiste in the film industry dreams of making it big like Amitabh or Rajnikanth.
A slum-dweller may aspire to move into a flat, while a flat owner may want to buy that dream weekend home. A young girl may want to marry the boy of her dreams, or a newly-wed couple may dream of becoming proud parents of a cute little angel couple of years later. Young boys and girls may dream of making it into the IIMs, Harvard or Cambridge and a fresh MBA grad may expect to land a dream job. Millions of people, millions of dreams - because there is no limit to goals and no limit to dreaming. Some realize their dreams, some don't. Those whose dreams are fulfilled relish their success in life. But those who do not realize their dreams draw solace from the fact that they did give it a try, and their efforts and their struggle kept them going and made the journey worthwhile.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Preaching Is Better Than Practising!
How easy it is to preach than to practise! I always preached to the young guys and gals to follow their passion in life, to do their own thing, no matter what. But when it was my own turn to follow my passion of writing, it was 10-days of excruciating dilemma. I had this book in mind which I was struggling to write since 2005 but was unable to make much of a headway bogged down as I was with office and personal work. I was barely able to put together 9,000-odd words in five years, whereas the book was going to be something like 100,000 words. I thought, at the rate I was going, it would take me more than 50 years to write the book! My 50-plus age did not offer me the luxury of spending 50 years on a single book. So I was really desperate and frustrated with the pathetic pace (but I took care not to show up my desperation and frustration in the office or at home).
Now, I had two options: give up my job and start working on the book full time or drop the idea of writing the book for good. It was a tough call because the decision had to be taken at a juncture when neither my age nor time was on my side - I was 54 and time was running out with each passing day. It was 'now or never' and the stakes were too high: giving up a decent paying job and not taking up another one for at least two years. Which meant I would not be earning even a dime and in fact I would be living off my savings for these two years. It meant risking my career and my savings to follow my passion. It was one hell of a decision to take, and many an agonising moments and prevaricating days later, I finally took the decision. I had already quit my job to take up a new job (more challenging and more rewarding one); instead I decided to work on the book full time!! It was the most difficult and momentous decision of my life and although it came quite late in life, I am glad I did take it. As they say, better late than never!
A few weeks after putting in my papers when I announced my decision to my office colleagues, close friends and relatives, their reactions were mixed. While some of them lauded my "bold and courageous" decision (some even expressing their desire to do the same but not being able to muster the courage to do it), others' reaction were "how could you do this at this age?", "have you given it a proper thought?" or "have you calculated the opportunity cost of not earning for two years?". Needless to say, I had considered all this and more, and that's why it took me 10 days to finally come to a decision to write the book.
Well, I guess it's only my passion and my belief in myself that gives me the courage and the conviction to do my own thing. It was the same passion which gave me the courage to give up my secure and easy-going job at BSES Ltd (now Reliance Energy Ltd) after 13 long years and enter the rough and tumble world of journalism. I relish the freedom to live my life on my own terms. Not for me the humdrum routine life - it's the thrill of living off the edge, a life on a roller-coaster ride that I enjoy the most! After all, I have only one life to live and it's my life and I wouldn't want to live it any other way.
Now that I have walked the talk, I think I can go back to preaching even more!!!
Now, I had two options: give up my job and start working on the book full time or drop the idea of writing the book for good. It was a tough call because the decision had to be taken at a juncture when neither my age nor time was on my side - I was 54 and time was running out with each passing day. It was 'now or never' and the stakes were too high: giving up a decent paying job and not taking up another one for at least two years. Which meant I would not be earning even a dime and in fact I would be living off my savings for these two years. It meant risking my career and my savings to follow my passion. It was one hell of a decision to take, and many an agonising moments and prevaricating days later, I finally took the decision. I had already quit my job to take up a new job (more challenging and more rewarding one); instead I decided to work on the book full time!! It was the most difficult and momentous decision of my life and although it came quite late in life, I am glad I did take it. As they say, better late than never!
A few weeks after putting in my papers when I announced my decision to my office colleagues, close friends and relatives, their reactions were mixed. While some of them lauded my "bold and courageous" decision (some even expressing their desire to do the same but not being able to muster the courage to do it), others' reaction were "how could you do this at this age?", "have you given it a proper thought?" or "have you calculated the opportunity cost of not earning for two years?". Needless to say, I had considered all this and more, and that's why it took me 10 days to finally come to a decision to write the book.
Well, I guess it's only my passion and my belief in myself that gives me the courage and the conviction to do my own thing. It was the same passion which gave me the courage to give up my secure and easy-going job at BSES Ltd (now Reliance Energy Ltd) after 13 long years and enter the rough and tumble world of journalism. I relish the freedom to live my life on my own terms. Not for me the humdrum routine life - it's the thrill of living off the edge, a life on a roller-coaster ride that I enjoy the most! After all, I have only one life to live and it's my life and I wouldn't want to live it any other way.
Now that I have walked the talk, I think I can go back to preaching even more!!!
The Joy of Freedom!
It feels so nice to be on my own. I feel like a liberated soul and am enjoying my freedom to the hilt. No more scurrying to catch the 9.07 Bhayander (reverse) train in the morning or making a dash to catch the 7.39 p.m. Bhayander train at Dadar. No fretting and fuming over late trains, no more the dread of getting ‘crushed’ in the morning and evening rush hours, no more deadlines to meet…no nothing!
I can now work any time, chat any time, watch TV any time, surf any time, take a walk (actually, and not in the pejorative sense!) any time, sleep any time or just leisurely sip away few pegs sometimes. Now, any day is work day and any day Sunday. And even after a hard day’s work, there’s no fatigue, no tension whatsoever. Only an immense sense of fulfilment, pride and satisfaction of living my passion and being involved in my own creation. It's cool, man! Wouldn’t have it any other way. Hope to spend the rest of my life this way!
I can now work any time, chat any time, watch TV any time, surf any time, take a walk (actually, and not in the pejorative sense!) any time, sleep any time or just leisurely sip away few pegs sometimes. Now, any day is work day and any day Sunday. And even after a hard day’s work, there’s no fatigue, no tension whatsoever. Only an immense sense of fulfilment, pride and satisfaction of living my passion and being involved in my own creation. It's cool, man! Wouldn’t have it any other way. Hope to spend the rest of my life this way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)